Sunday, October 12, 2008

more reflecting

As I mentioned in my previous entry, I am having a difficult time letting the paper go. I still feel the need to add that another dynamic to it. But I'm not sure how necessary it is to be more explicit about my experiences about being a woman.

I realized that I tackled being an immigrant, being Filipino and coming from a low-middle class background. Writing this personal statement really allowed me to reflect on how I see myself and my experiences and the fact that it was not until someone pointed out to me that I have not talked about being a woman was interesting.

At the same time, I am having difficulties in figuring out what exactly about being a woman do I want to talk about. Yes, double standard (gender stereotyping in occupations) in my own community exists. Because of the possible conflict it may cause with starting a family, my desire to pursue a career in law is often met with a frown of disapproval. But then again I am hesitant to write about this because I'm not sure how helpful it is. Yes it adds another dynamic to the story but it never consciously affected the way I view myself. I have a wonderful feminist father who never allowed me to even think that I am not capable of doing something because of my gender.

But that example mixes in the fact that I am Filipino-American. The lines between each layer of my identity tends to be blurred and it's more complicated than separating each layer into its own paragraph. I guess it's hard because being a woman often takes the backdrop to my experiences.

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