This is going to be long, random and probably full of nonsense (hmm sounds like my personal statement!)

Weekend update (before my rant about my personal statement)
After a long week at work (including a 14 hour shift on friday night which is the only thing I remember from this week, probably because it was the most recent, most tiring day ever), i was most definitely looking forward to the weekend.

my plans were..........................to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

oh okay, that was a lie...what I really meant was to do absolutely nothing work related.

Friday night was wine, wii and pizza. Saturday was cleaning our house (hey, it's therapeutic), laundry, gym and a little bit of shopping with shell (oh and I tried working on my personal statement but i failed at that!), and some more wii. Today was bible study, church, lunch with Marc and his sisters plus the kiddos, then I finally worked on my personal statement(i still have nothing!) and hellboy.

I must say this was a very productive (except for my failure at writing a decent draft of my personal statement) and relaxing weekend...finally.

You don't have to read this part because it will be long and probably won't even make sense.
So anyway, my main reason for blogging tonight is not because I want to bore you with the details of my weekend (but it is my blog and I will write whatever I want) but because I need help/really need to vent because I am so frustrated at myself.

For some reason, I absolutely cannot write a personal statement. Oh I have tried, I have maybe 14 drafts, all one pagers, single spaced, all a variation of the other, all absolutely worthless. So why do I want to be a lawyer?? What is so awesome about me that even with my crappy LSAT score and mediocere gpa, a good law school should take me??!!!! The most frustrating part is the fact that I can come up with plenty of reasons why I want to be a lawyer and why I think they should take me but none of them are good enough....now I am starting to doubt myself because if I can't even articulate who I am and what I can offer, how can I even make a good lawyer?

I know I know, LSAT scores and even gpas, awesome law school blah blah blah do not necessarily translate into a good lawyer but even so, I still wish that things didn't have to be so difficult. I hate excuses and I hate sucking at this. Can I just have a moment of enlightenment and write this damn thing??? I'm definitely running out of time...................

So I will just freewrite...maybe it will be less intimidating when it's a blog vs. a word document?

I realized I wanted to be a lawyer.........
-When I was in the 8th grade, after a year of being in the U.S. My eight grade government teacher chose me to defend the person accused of murder in our mock trial I lost that case even though I prepared for it so well and got an A. Jury favored the popular guy in my class who barely worked on his argument. I hate failing....
-In the 10th grade, my mom took me to an immigration lawyer to help her translate some legal terms and the lawyer was amazing. It seemed like she actually cared about my family's situation.
-Freshman year of college when I was first introduced to Ethnic Studies, PASS and many social injustices, I realized that I want to do my part.
-Junior year of college when my dad was injured on the job and due to instances beyond our control he had to retire from work. S
-Same year, our tenants sued my parents (we eventually win this case after several thousand dollars later in attorney fees, equity loss etc, I promised myself that no one will take advantage of me, anyone in my family and friends ever again.)

And I really want to be a lawyer because
-there is nothing else out there that I want to do
-I work crazy hours at work, see the bullshit associates have to put up with, know what kind of people lawyers turn into (and some I can say are just awful), basically I know exaclty what I'm getting into and I STILL WANT IT
-the law is absolutely beautiful and ugly at the same time..the interpretations, the context, the consequences..it's just amazing what it can and cannot do
-I KNOW that this is what I was meant to do...everywhere I look, injustices happen and I know I have to do something about it and the only way I can I think is to become a lawyer.....

hmmmmmmmm and I still have nothing.

battery is dying..better save draft/publish post...more later on........

June update

What the heck? It's June 20? Are you serious??? Where did the time go!

Work
Uggh..works been kicking my butt...been coming in at 7sh, 7:30 to "catch up with work" but it never happens, I'm barely finishing my projects.

On top of that, a lot of craziness has been going on....not too worried though, I know everything will work itself out and I'll be okay....

Law School
umm the last time I freaking looked at my personal statement was last month!

Family and friends
Try to balance as much time as possible to hang out with everyone but it's so hard with working 10-12 hour work days..really gotta improve on that one.

Malia's so freaking cute! She's getting so big and so smart...she's such a brat though. She threw french fries at a little 6 month old baby at a restaurant when we were out on Father's day..OMG so embarrasing

Me
Working out and eating healthy, not doing so well in that aspect of my life...it really is hard to maintain a balance.

Ohh and my car is awesome...super great in gas! go civic!

Oooohh and next Wednesday is June 25th =)

may update

bought the car
so many May birthdays - happy birthday to all of you!
starting to be swamped at work
three paralegals are leaving for law school (i'm jealous!)
going on a cruise...yay!

can't wait till today is over so i can party with coworkers and pack (yes i am not done packing!)

car shopping is suppose to be fun.

it's not!

bubbly

lsat class + rigatoni + coffee to wake me up + thinking the girls are going to down town san jose + improv wine night instead after flakers flake = 3 drunk roomies

Lesson(s) learned in 2007

2007 (and partially 2006) has given me plenty of hits and misses so in order to properly celebrate a new era in my life (blogspot, being 24, PARALEGAL promotion and I suppose the new year) I present to you a list of my lessons learned:

DO NOT get drunk at your holiday party
DO laugh about it on your first day back at work and sheepishly use being "young" as an excuse

DO NOT fly hungover across the country (and especially DO NOT sit in the middle seat if you chose to do so!)
DO bring plastic bags

DO NOT curse out loud assuming that you are the only person in the room
DO bust out with your most adorable smile when one of the partners tells you sarcastically but kindly that he did not hear anything

DO NOT allow yourself to be prey to PERVERTED and OBNOXIOUS superiors.
DO warn all your fellow female co-workers

DO NOT send an email with the subject: I need assistance. Why? BLACKBERRIES translate your message to "I need ass".
DO roll your eyes at the superior that laughs at you

added on 1/2/08

DO NOT eat fish tacos in Mexico
DO carry pepto =P

Retired

my xanga (xanga.com/mar_ee) and moved on with blogspot as requested by my favorite Jenn.