Friday, May 29, 2009

"Set adrift on memory bliss "

decided to read through old entries from my xanga and here's some amusing ones:

September 11, 2007
i watched bananas ripen today
that's how long I've been at work. It was green when I got's almost yellow now.

March 25, 2007
several thousand documents later....
and i'm still working.......

here's a little intense one:

December 16, 2006
oops i did it again
i thought i graduated from making a fool out of myself after a little too much intake of alcohol when i graduated from college but boy was i wrong. i'm definitely not proud of what happened and i know i won't hear the end of this for a while....i'm also definitely not looking forward to going back to work on monday not just because of this incident but also because of the overflowing work load..... i just hope i handle myself well tomorrow...i for one will no longer live my life with regrets...i know this happened for a purpose and i will come out stronger and will have to rethink certain choices that i have made. this newly found motivation to if not completely quit but even at least slow down because i think i may have a slight problem (which most of you will probably agree that i do) is a good thing, so i just hope i get support from my friends. it was weird being the only sober one last night and i have to admit that i didn't have as much fun but i now realize where my problem stems from, i think i drink, and i drink a lot because it gives me a feeling of not being myself completely.....although i don't like to make excuses for myself because i am a grown woman and i need to own up to the consequences of my actions, embedded insecurities that i thought i have long gotten rid of , continue to exist. i'm just glad i acquired this realization before i end up with a REAL problem and more drastic consequences.

it's always interesting to see how far you've come...i'm glad i have these to look back to especially during nights when you don't feel your best, think that you're not so strong after all, and overall just feeling a little down.

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