I have experienced a lot of growing up since graduating from Cal (almost)3 years ago and I have to say that I am ready (and very anxious) to go back to school.
The application process in itself reaffirmed many things that I have struggled with such as the fact the reliability of standardized tests to predict a person's future performance in whatever school/field that the want to get into is highly questionable and is nothing more than a gatekeeping ploy masquerading as "objective" data to be used by institutions to allow access to certain kinds of people into the most prestigious and lucrative positions in society.
But I am torn because I have give into the very things that I should protest against because it is what I have to do to get where I want to be. I have been selfish because that's what it takes to get to where I am. All the hard work that I have done leading up to being accepted into the school of my choice makes me feel proud (not in a good way, but in an almost, i deserve everything coming to me) instead of feeling privileged and blessed.
Maybe I need to do more instead of ranting and complaining about how little I have done for my community lately.